As some people have pointed out, many of the characters and events in these stories resemble me and my real life. The difference, I think, is that these stories are interesting.

This section is all fiction. For my published journalism, please see clips.









"The Spinning Line" is one of the first short stories I was not embarassed to share. It's about the zen of flight and of womanizing.

" April, her nametag says April, glances at it and says something nice and measured. As a waitress, she is no doubt familiar with this manner of beast and knows to be careful, keeping her level of engagement in the conversation strictly reciprocal, polite. I've found that a woman may want a guy to treat her like an object from time to time, if she's satisfied that this is not how he truly thinks. Dan was probably not helped by the fact that he just referred to the Luscombe, an object, as 'she.' "

"This is it" is completely open to interpretation. All I will say is that there are no unintentional inconsistencies in the narrative.

" Hence I am presented with the decision of creeping versus just walking carefully. Now I'm not convinced that I can creep that much quieter, and walking normal could make things less uncomfortable if caught. It is best, I have found, to sort of skulk, moving slickly around the seams of the floorboards, where they are less likely to creak. "

"Fnord" is more stream-of-conscious ruminations on ninjas, conspiracy theories, and other weirdness, this time from a guy who's being water tortured. One of the subplots comes from the real adventures of Maine's Eric White. I still consider this a rough draft.

" I’m told Fnord was born in neighborhoods like this. Throughout this state, I’ve discovered that you find these neighborhoods have streets named after types of trees. No joke, every street here is “Pine” or “Perennial” or something. They mix it up some, too, so it’s not as noticeable, like I don’t know what “Taiga” means. Dead politicians are bad news, too. Like Knox street? More like hard knox street."

"Wiretap Transcripts" is in pretty good shape, and may be ready to publish here in a month or two. Get excited.